INITIATOR TRAINING – Essay 2

Initiator Training – SACRAL Chakra

By Angelica Bosio

February 22, 2024

The Sacral Chakra space feels like home to me. It is where I feel comfortable and cared for, and where my history of wounding and trauma resides. It feels like the beautiful flow of a stream or the gentle rolling of waves, as well as the gushing destruction of a river after a heavy rainfall or the stormy seas. It is both a place I cherish and seek, and one I feel cautious of.

As soon as I started working on my Sacral Chakra, I felt spaciousness and a nurturing energy. I could feel the energy flow to my upper chakras, recalibrating to this shift in the Sacral. Whereas the work on the Root Chakra felt like a construction zone, I felt very little physical sensations in starting the work on the Sacral Chakra. For the first 24 hours or so I could feel that space going back and forth between feeling full of nurturing energy and feeling unsettled, uncomfortable. It felt like water erosion slowly working away like a whisper, carving away at what did not belong.

The energy then shifted to a deep unease, like I was holding back from allowing flow, pleasure, and creativity in my life. At the same time though, I felt a deep desire for touch and pleasure. I could tell something was holding me back but could not figure out what.

My fears around my son’s sporadic violent behaviour when the world becomes too overwhelming for him crept up in a powerful way, which I took over the Rainbow Bridge. I returned them to love and released them. My Sacral Chakra felt much more spacious after that, and it felt like this opened the flood gates for other emotions needing to be seen, acknowledged, and returned to love to come rushing in.

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I realized that I had been holding back on my love for others to match their ability to love me. I confused setting boundaries with limiting the love I allowed myself to feel. With one of my parents, in the past few years, their love towards me has felt conditional at times. While I fully embrace the role that this parent is playing for me in this life, I did not realize until then that I had been holding back on my love to match the brightness of the love that was exhibited for me. As soon as I was able to fully release that holding back of love, I realized just how many small fragments of that energy were stuck in so many dark corners of my Sacral Chakra. It required a tremendous amount of faith to be poured into these spaces to return them to love – faith that I can love unconditionally and trust my Solar Plexus and Throat Chakras to set and speak out boundaries where needed to prevent feeling hurt or giving away my energy. When I was done with this process, I could see orange flowers blooming and filling up every corner of my Sacral Chakra!

As I was exploring all these dark spaces in my Sacral Chakra, I had a recurring dream where I was desperately trying to avoid having another baby. As per Betty Bethards’s “The Dream Book”, a baby represents the birth within the self. I was clearly deeply resistant to letting go of this old version of me.

As I was going through the process of shining light into the dark corners of my Sacral spaces, I also found myself having sudden urges to sing, to start planning my garden for the summer, to take on creative projects. I went for a massage, and as I was receiving it,

I received the Divine Inspiration to always ask myself before doing anything,

“Does this make me feel like a Goddess?”

The more aspects I returned to love, the more I became capable of stepping into the Goddess version of myself.

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Working on my Sacral has been a deep lesson in surrender. Not just mine, but the collective’s. Pleasure, passion, and desire cannot truly be experienced without surrender. So, I took the need to control over the Rainbow Bridge. The energy of control felt like a big, heavy rock at the bottom of a river. Returning it to love involved lightening the energy enough for it to be like a leaf floating down the river.

After that my period started, which was particularly heavy. It felt like I was purging my old self, just in time for my new self to emerge with the new moon. I went to the Fraser river near where it empties out into the sea. As I stood by the water, I could feel all my cells vibrating and so I closed my eyes, and my body started swaying. I felt deeply into the water element as I swayed like a wave.

I connected in with all the water, from the moisture in the air to the river, big bodies of water, and every living being. I felt the connection to the dolphins and to the dragons as I breathed love into all the water. Everything is connected by water, so if enough love is breathed into enough water, it will reach everyone.

Poetry formed in my mind as I sent love into every Sacral Chakra, the water centers of our bodies. I felt the gentle flow of water in my own Sacral return as I focussed on the collective’s. Waves of every emotion, every frequency, being allowed to flow freely, without resistance and without being held onto. As the waves were witnessed without judgement, they were all able to return to love. The process felt like I was placing a few drops of essential oil (love) into a diffuser full of water, which in turn scented every room (living being) that this water was connected to.

This was a very powerful experience and after that my Sacral felt more expansive and alive than ever before. I could feel flow, like gentle waves, going from hip to hip. It felt so blissful, joyful, and nurturing. As I delved more into the now gently flowing water, I realized that I had been storing all the external energies I had been feeling as an empath over the years in my Sacral Chakra space.

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When I became aware of this, I was sent a “test” by the Universe in the form of a text message from a friend who is very stuck in victim-mentality. It took me a couple of days to realize that I had taken on her energy in my Sacral again! Realizing that, I also uncovered my daughter’s deep grief for a friend she lost a few years back. A dolphin named Helen that lived at the Vancouver Aquarium and that we visited weekly for years. Helen knew us well and loved my daughter, and my daughter had a bond that our 3D world cannot begin to describe. I have my own grief from losing Helen, however the grief my daughter has been carrying all these years was using up a big piece of real estate in my Sacral Chakra.

Releasing my daughter’s grief along with everyone else’s energies I had been holding onto led to a profound mini death. A complete cleansing of any sense of identity. A purging of who I was. I birthed that baby I was resisting in dreams earlier in this journey. The best way I can describe the process is that I felt like I was a computer needing to be restarted after a series of upgrades. I literally fell asleep sitting up (!) and it took a few days for all my systems to get back to being functional. And when I did get back to being fully functional, I felt so bright, so energetic, so expansive. Like a still ocean – vast and calm. I could feel ecstatic joy in my Sacral I had never felt before. A child-like innocent, pure joy that also had a sensual quality to it. I felt passion and desire for being in this state, for surrendering to the beauty all around. It was almost overwhelming, yet I didn’t want it to go away. It felt like endless possibilities, like I was birthing pure love frequency for the whole Universe to bathe in.

Through the process of rediscovering my Sacral Chakra space, I have felt a profound integration of my internal Feminine and Masculine energies. My left and right sides are connected in a whole new way as the tides of my Sacral sway from one hip to the other.

In two separate activations recently, I connected with a baby rainbow dragon. Through meditation I have been playing with her in a river – such joyful, pure fun! She is my Sacral Chakra’s representation of the Rainbow Bridge. She moves like water and is full of pure joy and love.