INITIATOR TRAINING - Essay 6

Initiator Training – Third Eye Chakra

By Angelica Bosio

June 24, 2024

A crow fledgling had appeared in my backyard the night before and spent the night in a corner of my garden. I gently approached, made eye contact with him, and started my work on my Third Eye Chakra in his presence. Crows are symbols of intelligence, higher perspective, magic and mystery, fearless, adaptable, personal transformation and alchemy. A beautiful and powerful start to this journey!

As soon as I started working on this Chakra my head felt heavy, and I noticed myself reaching for food in an unusual way. As if I was trying to weigh myself down to stop myself from flying too high. My mind was also trying to stay so busy. It was not ego driven, more like a distraction from being able to hear the more subtle energies. As if my mind was trying to be louder than my connection to my Source Self for the sake of feeling seen.

Then I had another bird encounter. I have a chickadee house at the edge of my deck. This year they have been very stealthy, and I had barely noticed them. Then one day I kept seeing one of them sing from my fence. A couple hours later it perched itself on the edge of the window I was inside of and we made eye contact for a few moments. Chickadees are symbols of exceptional luck and positive outcomes, communication, friendship and sociability. Birds in general represent spiritual freedom, the ability to soar to higher awareness. Freedom from material ties. (“The Dream Book”, B. Bethards)

Following this interaction with the chickadee, I felt compelled to do a fast: 3 days with juices and 3 days with only water was my goal. On the first day of my fast I woke up feeling off, with an undertone of sadness. I felt a strong desire to experience pure, selfless love and devotion of another towards me. I wanted to learn to receive this kind of love without any strings attached.

I also felt a disconnection happening within me. Like there was a bridge that I needed to find and cross. I still struggled with knowing what I truly desired, deep down. I also felt a resistance to exploring what it is I truly want, especially when it comes to others. My carefully cultivated deep sense of independence kept coming up, reminding me that I have everything I want within myself. I don’t need anyone or anything external to feel whole and loved. As I sat with this, I wondered if my deepest desires are what my Source Self wants my human self to experience during this lifetime. This reframing helped me. I started wondering:

“What does my Soul desire to experience through this physical vessel?”

At times through my life, I have followed my intuition. But it has always come with a side order of defiance. Of needing to prove myself to those around me that thought it was a bad idea, instead of supporting me. So now my challenge was to listen to my deepest desires and follow them through simply because I wanted to experience them, with a deep knowing that I deserved to. A purely personal experience.

As I sat on the front steps of my home in the sun one day, I closed my eyes for a few moments. When I opened them again, everything looked “fake”. In the same way an animated movie never looks completely real no matter how good the technology is, the whole world around me looked like the simulation that it is. It was a surreal experience! As I looked around, I could feel my body tingling. It almost felt like an out-of-body experience. Like I was looking at the world from my Soul’s perspective. I could see through the veils.

“It is with a heavy and almost metamorphic heart that I announce…” Those were the words that came to me in a dream as I was woken up in the middle of the night with my young cat on my belly, purring (she had never done that before). There was no end to the sentence. According to “The Dream Book” by B. Bethards, metamorphosis is the change that occurs when you go from an ego-based life to one that is spiritually charged; cats represent the feminine part of self; and the stomach is the emotional barometer. The way you digest life’s experiences. This happened the night after, seemingly out of nowhere, my elderly cat Cleo lost the strength to walk. She stopped eating and drinking.

I cut my fast by a day - the lack of sleep and food did not feel good in my body. For the following couple days Cleo nestled in a cozy dark spot, greeted all the pets we could give her with sweet purrs, and looked so peaceful and content. She truly made the process of dying look like such a beautiful journey. She was pure love frequency. It felt so magical and difficult all at once to me.

At some point along the way, Cleo stretched herself in such a way that my hand, which had been petting her, landed on her heart. I could feel her heartbeat slowing down and come to a stop, and her breathing stopped as well. Then she went into full body convulsions, as if my hand had been a defibrillator. She was breathing and her heart was beating again.

Over the following 12 hours Cleo became very needy of my attention and pets and had many more episodes of my hand being on her heart and her whole body convulsing (without the heart stopping those times). And then she suddenly got up, got herself to her water dish and started drinking. Ever since then she has been slowly getting stronger every day.

Cleo is fiercely independent and profoundly loyal. She is a fighter. She never gives up. I had a dream the night before she started getting better where I was taking care of an old man at the end of his life. The dream had the same frequency as caring for Cleo. He was in a tall bed. Based on “The Dream Book” by B. Bethards,

Man: is the assertive, aggressive, strong side of self. He represents rationality, practicality, intellect, consciousness, will.

Old/ancient: represents truths that withstand the tests of time; the timeless part of self that evolves through many lifetimes and lessons. Something old may indicate wisdom, empowerment; or parts of self no longer needed.

Bed: is the bridge between conscious and unconscious, a return to the universal womb or power source. What a powerful messenger Cleo had become for me!

As Cleo came back to life, I noticed that my ears were buzzing more and more (a sign of receiving activations). Also, my High Heart space became extremely sore - muscle soreness. I felt so intensely present in the moment, and while not as extreme as that one time on the front steps, the veil looks very thin all the time now.

---

During a group meditation, I experienced another type of “out of-body” moment. I could feel every cell in my body vibrate as if it were a star in a galaxy. I lost the sensation of locality – I could not feel where each of my body parts were in relationship to the others. Was my foot next to me knee? On my shoulder? My mind knew it was on the floor, yet my senses could not discern one location from another. I experienced my physical body as a projection of my Soul in this reality.

I had now crossed that bridge I was looking for earlier, the one that connected me to my Soul self, to my Soul’s desires. However, I noticed that I started over-eating again. As I tapped into the energy of this behaviour, I was able to connect it to sadness. The same sadness that I had felt undertones of a few weeks prior and had glimpses of throughout my life. As I meditated on this sadness, I realized that it was caused by the original wounding of separation. The one that originated from the initial splitting of the One into two. It was a sadness that transcended anything that I had experienced in this lifetime. I could feel it so strongly in my High Heart.

With some help from Bliss, I dug deep into this sensation. It felt bittersweet. Like sweet, gentle tears, or a soft rain on a warm day.

I felt the All, the whole Universe, in my High Heart. And I felt the duality of it being fragmented into different aspects of itself, while the fragments were striving to return to unity.

There was a push and pull quality to the dance of the energies. The sadness was caused by the separation, yet there was a deep knowing that the separation is necessary to be able to experience various perspectives.

As this understanding settled into my body, I could apply the duality of being both everything and only a fragment to my own journey in this lifetime. I could reconcile having everything I want within myself, and having desires. I became tuned into my Source Self with devotion to everything I want to experience in this physical vessel.

---